My Blog

LV - the brand of brands. why do people buy LV? some economists will use the snob appeal argument. it’s really for the status and class it brings to the person who is holding one. to me, i would say some people need external things, like bags, watches, or cars, to make them feel confident. deep down, these people are feeling inferior and fearful that society or friends may not pay them any attention. thus, the expensive handbags are worth the exhorbitant price.

well, it’s not true say one friend of mine. she heard it from a friend of hers. they buy LV for speculation purpose. you see, if you spent rm5000 on a limited edition of LV, you can use it every now and then. and after a few years, you can sell it for much higher than the rm5000. and there are shops willing to buy from you. thus, it is really a form of investment.

mmm… that’s interesting. how does this social status product bring even higher status when it is secondhand? going by the price it can fetch, it’s really an interesting question to ponder.

Frank Sinatra - My Way

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

what are regrets? do you have any? is it painful? can anyone be regret free?

this can easily top list of the pain in life. more than being fired from a job, more than divorce, and more than the death of one’s parents or children. regrets is more painful than all these.

why? it’s because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. it’s either things you have done or things you should have done, but didn’t do. 

if only i had study a little more seriously during my primary schools… if only i had spent less time fooling around and engaging in pointless activities… if only i had not indulge in  exchanging and creating gossips during my form six years… if only…

can anyone live a life completely free of regrets? i guess, regrets is part of life. and it is also part of being human. i cannot change the past. but i must learn from it. i can create the future. i am still young.   

and looking back, i can see things from a better perspective. and appreciate my youth a lot more. i was so free and i can do so many things then, but i just didn’t. now, i am tied down with one wife, two kids, one job and lots of things that comes with the package of being an adult ie. paying insurance premium, filing income tax, renewing road tax… the list is long.

when i look at my students, all i see is dull and lifeless body. without much interest in the wonders of knowledge? wonders? what wonders? those who are interested only want to score A. while others prefer to type messages in class while the lesson is going on. 

these kids just do not realise how fortunate and fantastic is it to be young. there are so many things you can do. and please go ahead, do it! try new things. explore and expose yourself to more things in life.

and read. many people dislike reading. not because reading is boring. but because the onslaught of TV and computer have dull their senses and sensitivity. and their ability to read. they just hate books. period.

but it is in books that we can find many exciting discoveries and adventures. human drama and exhilarating stories. and it is through reading that we cultivate our innate intellect and creative powers. but, it is important to read good books. don’t waste time on trash. it does nothing and you learn nothing. don’t read rubbish like teen and movie stars magazines. they just make you feel sad as they remind you contantly that you are not as pretty, rich and gamorous as they are.  

i hope we can spent a little time to seriously ponder and reflect on their lives. on the things that they should have done. on the things that they should not have done. and on what to do right now in order to minimise the amount of regret in the future.  

life is short. play hard. and also work hard. study hard. live to the full! and strive to live a life without regret.

mr meant-to poem

Mr Meant-to has a comrade,
And his name is Mr Didn’t-do;
Have you ever chanced to meet them?
Did they ever call on you?

These two fellows live together
In the house of Never-win,
And I’m told that it is haunted,
By the ghost of Might-have-been

lecture notes! can we have notes please? why don’t you give notes? why can’t you be like other lecturers who prepare notes, in bullet point, for us? and give us in powerpoint handouts? that would certainly make our life better.
well, my job is not to make my students’ life easier. it was designed to be hated. it was designed to make it more difficult for them.

why don’t i give handouts?

handouts are given to the useless and the hopeless. and my students are neither. therefore, they don’t need handouts. that’s my point of view. all they need is some pointers, support and encouragement. the objective is to inculcate the skills to educate oneself. not to spoonfeed.

and handouts are spoonfeeding. handouts are crutches. it only help those who cannot walk. students nowadays always depend on tuition and ‘buku ulangkaji’ reference book. not only are these books printed in bullet points, but they publisher even bold the key words and phrases. only minimum effort is required because most of the work are being done for them.

studying in this environment, our students never develop the basic reading skills that enable them to read long essays or books. when they lack this skill, they will certainly encounter problems during their undergraduate studies as well as their working life.

meanwhile, i guess i will be on the top in the list for the most hated lecturer. but that’s all right, i guess. remembering einstein who said -

great spirits have often encounter violent opposition from the mediocre minds.

‘How is working in the corporate sector compare to education?’

Seated in front of me is an attractive and intelligent female colleague who just joined two months ago. She was working in the construction sector, the most corrupted and vulgar of all, for more than a decade. It’s a gold mine, I told myself. There is so much I can learn from her. And learn I did.

Well, this is how it looks like in the construction sector. Money is everything. It’s all about money, alcohol, sex and spending endless hours talking about nonsense, entertaining people superficially.  

Money – when we tender for a job, say working on the water pipes for a condominium project, there will be several companies bidding for it. To win over your competitors, you must know exactly how much the other companies bid. How do you do that? Get someone from inside and you will know every detail of your competitors’ tender. All you need is lots and lots of big, fat angpows to grease palms.

It’s never about your ability or reasonable quoted price. It’s only about how successful you are in making friends and building contacts and trust. Well, that’s the way in this industry.

Alcohol and sex – if you are a sub-con, you are expected to supply dinner, karaoke, prostitute, alcohol and make stupid jokes all the time. At other times, you also need to laugh heartily at your customers stupid jokes. Imagine hours of entertaining your customers that way.

If you are on the main-con side, the one giving business to others, you are expected to be entertained and eat, drink, smoke and engage in sexual acts. That’s part of the job, though not written in the job specs when you sign the agreement. Lucky if you are a woman. At least they don’t force you to drink.

Sometimes, it can be very repugnant watching a man in his late 50s, groping and sliming a girl in her 20s in the karaoke. The word dirty-old-man suddenly has a whole new meaning. It’s not just a word in the dictionary. Disgusting and ‘puke provoking’ characters are abundant in this line. Get used to it. Or get out. 

As for sex, there are plenty of it in this 80% male dominated industry. For the higher up, most established and successful people, they prefer to keep mistresses. (Well, most of them. Some are still good and incorruptible.) At least, they fuck the same hole on most nights. For the lower income, they will frequent bars and clubs and hunt for free sex. On a daily basis. I guess this does not confine to the construction industry.

Don’t they ever get bored? I mean, after so many years of wining and dining, and sexing, what’s new? I mean, what else is there to excite you anymore? Don’t they get tired?

No. You see, this is the only way they de-stress. They are working in a very stressful and tough environment. Big money is involved. And to maintain their lifestyles, bungalows, cars, credit cards, and material things that convey the message of being successful in their eyes, they cannot stop working it. And to continue working means to continue the party. They cannot stop engaging in these stupid, mindless, nonsensical activities of dinner, karaoke, getting high and getting less time for one’s family.

Looking at all this, I am feeling very fortunate. For twelve years, I have only been in the education line. And people here are a lot more sensible and humane, I think. I once talked to a new friend for two hours. And the comment he made after our conversation was, ‘it’s been a long time. Finally, I am talking to a human being.’ In his work, he only talks to animals- people who are only driven by money, sex and pleasure. Nothing else. Talk about something more serious or deep, they will be turned off.

Sad to say, these people lead empty and meaningless lives. On the surface, they may look like successful and having the time of their life. But they cannot escape their conscience. They cannot escape from the fact that one day, they will wake up, look themselves in the mirror, and ask – what the hell am I doing? And then, more than half of their lives are gone.

Some, perhaps could get lucky though. They may get cancer, stroke, infected with HIV or some sort of terrible disease and die early. Those who survive will suffer a lot more.

Why did you quit and join the education industry?

I came to a point where I realise that I really look down in these people. All of them can be bought with money. With money, you can practically get them to do anything. And the relationship you build with anyone will end the moment the contract is over. It’s really pointless. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life doing something stupid and shallow.

konosuke matsushita

the founder of National Panasonic, mr matsushita is a highly regarded personality in Japan as well as a management guru in the world of global business. his philosophy, foresights and penetrating insights into human nature are sharp and profound. this is his advice to young people during his dialogue with mr ikeda.

the most unfortunate thing to happen to a young person is to be rich and successful too early in life. their success will only be short term. it is important that young people experience hardships. those who went through a lot of hardships will become a person who understand the hearts of others in future. hardships during one’s youth are the most precious treasure one can have. young people must foster themselves through taking on hardships. even if you need to buy them, you should.

three points on taking care of one’s health

our health is of utmost importance. without health, there is nothing much we can do, even if we were to be the most capable or successful person. as young people, therefore, we must take good care of our health, so that we can live long, robust and lead a most fulfiling life. the three things that mr ikeda often stressed were;

1. take good care of your teeth.

brush them thoroughly, gums too, and go for annual dental check-up

2. take good care of your eyes

3. take good care of your posture

when we are reading, walking, standing and sleeping. a bad posture can create many problems in our body. particularly tall people. they have a tendency to slouch.

mastering one’s language

malaysians are often envied in japan because we can speak several languages. in many countries, people one speak one lanmguage. but the problem is that our students today are weak in every language. we cannot be global citizens if we cannot master our language. thus, we must make it a point to study seriously and enhance our language ability.

5 guidelines for high school division

1. Diligently perform daily gongyo

2. Challenge yourselves in study

3. Make reading a habit

4. Make more friends

5. Never leave the organisation

the signs of aging are clear. when a student posed a question - ‘why do you choose to teach?’ i took almost 25 minutes to answer it. ‘it was during my form three days… ‘ that was more than 20 years ago. after that, no one dare to ask another question. lest i take another 25 minutes… must check myself. am i growing into an old grumpy, long winded, boring old man who likes to repeat stories?

2008 has had a slow start. first of all, i did not get any new class until this week. and i am losing concentration and drifting away. getting distracted and lazy with fewer hours to teach [hope my boss is not reading this]. has been in hibernation for a while, with only the ‘07 ausmat and ‘07 a-levels keeping me alive.

but with the arrival of FC37 n A-levels batches, new faces, fresh hope and promising individuals, spirits are high again. there are so many things that i can do, stories that i wanted to share and and jokes [often lame ones] to irritate my students.

do you know why kancil cannot pump esso petrol?

because the tiger in esso will bite kancil.   

do you know why the kancil did not move after the lights turned green?

because some chewing gum is stuck to one of its tyre.

there will be more jokes of these nature. over the course of a dozen years of sharing [exchanging] lame jokes with students, i have a full collections of sheer nonsense, some specific and others general nonsense.

things that i wanted to share, discuss and hopefully made some impact or influence on the lives of my students include my views on life in general. of course, that would be too general. more specifically, it’s about;

1. happiness - what is happiness? what is absolute and relative happiness?

2. money - is money evil? can money buys fulfilment? will it get me more girlfriends? why many rich people are acting like slaves to money?

3. relationship - what is a healthy relationship? what is the purpose of having a partner? how to find prince charming and mr perfect? what’s is puupy love? and what is kitty love?

4. beauty - how can one be beautiful? what attracts men? what attracts women? why men are attracted to long hair? are pimples sexy?

5. death - why is there nothing written about death in cosmopolitan or cleo or ‘che mei’ [sisters] magazine? does death belongs to some segment of religion only? why should we understand about death?

6. reading - do we still need to read when we have internets and cable TVs? how TVs and internet are creating a generation of dull, unimaginative and social skills inept today? how reading lots of good books can make you a rich person?

7. sex - ah! that was good. i mean, this would be good. let’s create more awareness about sex and kill the curiosity on this subject. sex with responsibility [read pregnant], sex with love and sex with sexually transmitted disease. the economists view on sex and polygamy is also an interesting aspect.

8. politics - participation, understanding and being a responsible citizens.

9. self-actualisation - maslow hierarchy of needs of theory being given a new twist. forget hierarchy, go direct to the self-actualisation stage. i did. twelve years ago, i went direct into teaching, my dream job. and stuck here ever since. we are living in a world of instant gratification, instant microwave cooking, instant cash, instant rewards, instant noodle, and everything else instant. same with life. let’s go instantly into szelf-actualisation.

10. career - do people really enjoy what they do? how to get a job that i am happy with? where to get jobs that pays a lot and have little workload and minimum responsibility/ believe me, there are many areas you can look. just be a little more creative. turn off the TVs and computers. read more.

FC 37 is certainly an interesting bunch. we have a girl name pearl whose chinese name is ‘ming choo’ [priceless jewel], and jitjukpa setan [devils] but she said she was chinese. what a name, setan. the parents must be fans of MU. but that is still not as good as one student i had last year - ‘zee hang’ [in cantonese, literally means 'toilet bowl'. she will kill me because i already blog about it before.]

and soo hong, which i can remember well - from the monkey god’s tale ’si-yin-hong’. and jai-me which wears a cross in her neck. gobi which reminds me of forest whitaker, the darker version, of course. and yuen kaseng and yuen kamun, cousins with different fathers they told me after some hesitation. i wonder if they are certain. and of course the boys from behind who kept bringing up the subject of their idol, edison chen, in the class.

unable to write about each student, looking forward to an exciting journey of 14 weeks ahead for fc 37!

for a-levels, there is teh ann ger, which the class call her ‘ang ge ge’ and kah ling, called karina [name after the famous karina low ka ling from hong kong]. and ai chin, literally means ‘love’ in mandarin.

A-levels will indeed be a marathon, a full 16 months from now. let’s keep the consistency and we will see results.      

remember this…

i shall not ask to to run faster, but beg you to keep going.

certainly, the rewards of runners is not at the starting post, but at the finishing line.

anyone can begin a race, even the laziest.

but very few complete it. - marsilio ficino.

election tsunami change the political landscape of malaysia. permanently. to see giants fall one after another is exhilarating. and the Semi Viru and the MIC leaders are busy forming a new party today, the sms said. it’s call FBI [ F***ed By Indians]. 

i am proud to be a malaysian on the 8th of march. i was in a state of despair and felt powerless before the election as i don’t think we can make any difference. deny the two thirds seems a very distant dream. but i was wrong. the people voted. i had a tear in my eyes.

these are exciting times indeed. rumours are saying that anwar is going to be the PM in may or june. sabah is building up the frustration about getting too little representation and will defect in May. all anwar needs is another 30 seats to form a simple majority. some from peninsular, and we have a new PM.

lawrence carter, the head of the martin luther king church in US, once said, during a public lecture in malaysia, that change is an INSIDE JOB. he made the audience, about 2000 people, repeated the phrase three times.

political tsunami can never happen without the inner change in attitude of the people. but anger at the BN’s arrogance, corruption and domination is insufficient. voting them out is also insufficient.

what we need is a change in our attitude towards justice, corruption and abuse of power, and our participation in politics are essential if we were to keep those in power, whoever that is, in line and check on them are essential.

to do that, we need to be constantly educating ourselves, keeping a close eye on the development and voicing out our concern whenever we see any form of injustice or abuse of power.

unless we, the people, are able to do this, we can always expect corruption and abuse of power return, though in different form or people. the tsunami is only the first act. if the second act is not followed, and people return to their television and indulgence, and let the government do whatever they want, then, we will witness the same corruption.

each must do his part. educate oneself, and talk to people. i shared and discussed many issues with my students. but i also remind them not to involve in politics until they are 30 years old. before that, they may be too idealistic and easily manipulated by politicians who made use of them. furthermore, now is the time to consolidate one’s position, develop capability and politics can always wait. but that does not mean that we care nothing about politics.

after all is said, change, i repeat, is an inside job. gandhi said, ‘ we must be the change we wish to see in this world.’

you are happy all the time. i think being a teacher is the best thing in life. freedom, no stress and contented. i see that you are not really motivated by money and lead a moderate life. i wonder if that is the right way to live…

that was the comment i got from a classmates. an interesting and a thinking chap i would say.

i used to think like you. five years ago. i was having a decent job, bought a small apartment and paying off my car. i enjoyed the time i spent with my long term girlfriend then. one day, she told me- it’s over, joe [not his real name]. i can’t see my future with you. you live for the day.’

i was totally floored. i made a determination then, and put in a hundred percent in my work. my salary today is five times what i was earning then. i saw people driving mpv, i also bought a 7-seater mpv. but hell, i am only driving it around alone. i bought a big house, but i am only one person and don’t need such space. i don’t know.

why am i not five times happier? i used to spend all my money, but now i save most of my salary. my bank account of growing significantly. but still… something is missing. i am not happy. i don’t know why. i tried religion. but i only go to Him when i need Him. felt a little guilty.

this year, i learnt one of the most important lesson in my life so far. i learnt to appreciate my parents. i’d call up my dad and chat with him every now and then. and go back home, and surprise them. had dinner with them, spent time, you know… i felt really happy during these moments.

i don’t know what to say. but this friend surely made me fell good about my job. in the end, i believe we still get back to the same question - can money buy happiness? pleasure, yes. joy, i think not. money cannot buy fulfilment. and fulfilment is one of the main criteria of happiness.

i suggest to joe, perhaps, you need to find meaning in your work. since you spent most of your time there. happy and successfull people are usualy those who love their jobs and find them fulfilling. but he can’t do that. ‘i don’t believe in my product. each time i close a sale, i felt i just cheated another person. it’s a bad feeling, though it brings me money.’

ouch! stop it! stop pinch my nipples. she let out a shriek of pleasure she derived from my sudden reaction to pain. and before i manage to catch mt next breath, she was at it again. ouch! she roared even louder. this is bad. it’s the worst form of torture. i can’t stand this anymore. too high.

well, she is young. still very new and trying a lot of new things. but i just couldn’t understand why she is so interested in pinching my nipples. and when i covered it up with my pillow, she would use all her strength to pull it away and have a go at my…

no, i am not talking about my elder daugther. i am talking about my younger, one year old daughter. it’s a lot of fun and pain being a father. you won’t understand until you become one.

you have any ideas how much money uncle lim spends on feng shui? all the architectures and designs are built in a way that the fortune of ‘uncle’ are locked in, and very few people can win from it. most will lose. the entrance to genting hotel itself was shape like a dracula, that sucks all the blood of potential gamblers, so the legend goes.

and the constant renovation, major renovation, is on-going no matter what. refurbish, redesign, even reengineered over and over again. why? because in cantonese, major renovation ‘tai cong sau’, sounds also like ‘the house wins big’.

some said that there are little green ghosts that are holding on to the legs of the gamblers and prevent them from leaving the gambling tables. these little ghosts are the pets of uncle.

the above three paragraphs are sheer nonsense. though the second para seems to be true as there are clear evidence of constant renovation.

to make profits, uncle need not resort to any of these things. seriously. all you need is a license. after that, mathematics will take over.

those who studied and understand basic form five matematik moden in the ‘kebarangkalian’ chapter can calculate the chances easily. the odds are always against you. no need feng shui. to gamble in unfair rules is plain stupid. like playing football on an slope, with your goal post on the lower side. only stupid people play with their real money in genting.

you see, many people studied and pass with distinction their form five mathematics. they, however, are unable to apply these knowledge in simple issues in life, like gambling. wonder what their maths teachers are doing. it’s so exciting. i may even apply to genting to allow a field trip there with the students if i am a maths teacher. i am quite confident ‘uncle’ will be more than happy to sponsor everything. after all, it’s educational.

another good buddy of uncle is his ever loyal and reliable friend name greed. uncle is never afraid that you win. it’s bad news for him if you lose. he wants you to win. sincerely.

it work this way. say eric, a successful businessman, with a fortune of approx. RM3m in assets and cash. busines is stable, and he wanted to have some fun and try his luck. he took rm20k, seed money, and drive up the mountain with some friends.

he lost everything in 30 minutes. 20k. tragedy? quite the contrary. he would come down hill, feel a little sad, and got over it a few days later. and he will think twice the next time he wanted to go up. very unlikely to go again.

now, if he had won, say rm50k on his first night, what will follow? euphoria. pride. thought that he is smart. boast about his theory and methods. excited about his adventure, how he turned rm20k seed money into rm50k in just under three hours. there will be splashing of money all around. it’s not the amount, but the manner in which it is gotten. that’s the thrill in it.

the excitement will be on his mind day after day and week after week. once he is free, he will be back. always on my mind… he went up again. sooner rather than later. and becomes a habit.

it’s all fine, until one day, he losses big, say rm500k. that’s half a million! consumed by anger, he lost all sense of reason. went in big. one time. just one time, and i recover all my losses. i will stop then.

he wanted to win all back through just one game. big one. lost again. before he realise, he lost all his money, and in debt with the ah longs. he went home, and start regretting, how stupid he was. sell car, sell house, sell jewelleries…

i knew a friend who had to stay with his uncle after his father lost everything, business, alfa romeo, women, wife, and his family broke into several pieces, with each child staying in different places, and he went overseas to hide, and his wife ent to singapore to work. greed. 

it wasn’t uncle’s fault. it was his own. the greed in him. and uncle just provided the facility, the convenient and the external incentive. many men, women, and families were destroyed in this familiar storyline, with slight variation to their names, age, amount and circumstances. greed is so overwheming in terms of effectiveness. there is simply no need to resort to any form of feng shui or little ghost.

i was in genting on monday, the day before ‘uncle’ died. there were some brochures right at the doorsteps of the casino, which says.. ‘is gambling a problem to you? call us. we can help… gambling is suppose to be fun. entertainment.’ right. i am sure they meant it. every word of it.